Beauty

I like beauty. I think that is a good thing and I think God likes beauty as well. He created everything, afterall. I think I find some of the most beauty in this world through dance. I love to watch a beautiful lyrical routine. It just makes sense to me. The thing that stinks is that I was never the dancer I could have been. I did not put in extra effort outside of practice and did not treat my body the way a dancer should. That is one of my biggest regrets in life, that I had many opportunities in front of me and I blew it due to my lack of discipline.

In the past year I have had some interesting things prayed over. Two times I have been told that God was going to accelerate me this year. So far, that has not happened. I also had someone tell me that I had an annointing. I do not know what the annointing is and I find it very hard to believe that God would give me an annointing, but He does have a sense of humor.

It's June

It's so funny how our mindsets can change in a mere matter of weeks. Here are just a few revelations I have had since my previous two posts:

1) I have always found myself in my schedule. The busier I am, the more important I feel. It is time to let go of that. I need to find myself in God, not in my schedule.

2) When I die, noone will care how long it took David and I to pay off our credit cards. Noone will care the brand of sofa I bought. The only thing that will matter is the way I loved people. I can not love people the way God intended if I am working all the time, sleep deprived, hating my body because I did not have time to work out, and completely stressed.

3) There is nowhere I would rather be than with David.

4) My three priorities in life are: God, David, and my health. My job is not in those top 3, so that says something. Those three things have to be my top priority every day.

5) I need a job that forces me to grow, not one that I can do so simply. What that means, I do not know. Does God want me to learn more here before moving on? Should I plan on moving on anytime in the near future? Would Vineyard WestSide be a good fit for me?

Anywho, that is where I have gotten in the past few weeks. I feel that I have learned a lot about myself and think that I will be pushed to grow even more. Discipline is something that I will need to work on as I need to have focused quiet time, devotions with David, gym time, and healthy eating habits.

God has put some wonderful friends in my life that have helped me to grow and I know will continue to push me. Lord, please make me more like You.

Busy, Busy

In just a few short weeks, my life will officially become filled with busyness again as Cabana opens. I am very excited because that means extra money to pay off our debt. If all of these things happen this summer, I will be beyond elated:
1) Pay my parents back
2) Pay off our Zales account
3) Pay off our Royal Carribean account
4) Save up money for the Academy
5) Pay off our Visa
6) Have extra money for shopping, dates, and improving the house

I just need to be able to do all this while having an ever increasing relationship with God, build a strong marriage, be an awesome aunt, and somehow not be tired all of the time! Maybe I'll take some vacation time at Vineyard this summer just to not get too exhausted! Katie gave me an awesome Dave Ramsey quote yesterday that I need to keep in mind. "Live like noone else now so you can live like noone else later". I just need to keep that in mind!

Prayer Request: What does God want me to do regarding my VCC job????

I thought I'd give this one more shot

I am not very good at keeping up with posts, so let's see how this goes. Journaling is supposed to be good for you, so here's one more shot. I am very frustrated with work right now (that is when I always seem to create a blog). I have no clue what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be. I hang on to what I want so much, that I can be too scared to let go and let God show me a new path. I really wish I knew what my passion was. Is it possible that I simply do not have a passion besides hanging out and doing fun things? I thought that was over with after high school, and at the very latest, college. I do not want to cling to an identity that a job gives me, but I have absolutely no clue what I want to do at this point and having financial strain does not make that any easier. I used to be shocked that I was paid to work at my job, now I am shocked that that is all I get paid. I hate that feeling so much! I just want to be doing something that forces me to focus and grow, not something that I feel I could do with one hand tied behind my back. I want to be a more mature Christian. I want to let go of childish things and ways. I want to be more responsible at work. I want to let go of worldly things and only focus on things of the Lord. Is this so hard? Of course it is! Ugh. At least I have Cabana opening soon to help out, but then the problem of rain, bad weather, bad business arises and I could be back at square one. Or there is the workaholism that is always a possibility. Sometimes I just wish that I had a normal life, but who does? As soon as David and I get out of debt, the better. Then we can live within our means and be content. That is all I want, to be content. I don't want more (though that human instinct does come out every once in awhile). I just want to be content and so grateful for all that God has given me. God, I am begging You for guidance on this one!