I thought I'd give this one more shot

I am not very good at keeping up with posts, so let's see how this goes. Journaling is supposed to be good for you, so here's one more shot. I am very frustrated with work right now (that is when I always seem to create a blog). I have no clue what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be. I hang on to what I want so much, that I can be too scared to let go and let God show me a new path. I really wish I knew what my passion was. Is it possible that I simply do not have a passion besides hanging out and doing fun things? I thought that was over with after high school, and at the very latest, college. I do not want to cling to an identity that a job gives me, but I have absolutely no clue what I want to do at this point and having financial strain does not make that any easier. I used to be shocked that I was paid to work at my job, now I am shocked that that is all I get paid. I hate that feeling so much! I just want to be doing something that forces me to focus and grow, not something that I feel I could do with one hand tied behind my back. I want to be a more mature Christian. I want to let go of childish things and ways. I want to be more responsible at work. I want to let go of worldly things and only focus on things of the Lord. Is this so hard? Of course it is! Ugh. At least I have Cabana opening soon to help out, but then the problem of rain, bad weather, bad business arises and I could be back at square one. Or there is the workaholism that is always a possibility. Sometimes I just wish that I had a normal life, but who does? As soon as David and I get out of debt, the better. Then we can live within our means and be content. That is all I want, to be content. I don't want more (though that human instinct does come out every once in awhile). I just want to be content and so grateful for all that God has given me. God, I am begging You for guidance on this one!